No Spend November: Fernanda Tells All
Fernanda reflects on the NSN challenge over a celebratory December dinner date.
December Date Night
It was a quiet night in Kingston’s west end, the ideal night for an intimate date with Fernanda. The December air was crisp and cold, so I started the Corolla to warm it up while Fernanda was still getting ready. It was often a playful exchange of who waited for whom, and tonight, it was my turn. But the wait felt worthwhile when I saw her step out, her smile relaxed and joyful. She looked stunning, and her smile told me she knew it too.
Me, from the car window: “WOOOWEEE gawd damnnnn baby you lookin fineeeeeee!”
With Fern, the only excuse for my rowdiness is the good nature within.
Fools Gold by The Empties played as she opened the passenger door. We shared warm memories of the night before when we attended their show at The Mansion. We see them every time they’re in town, and last night was no exception. It was fitting music for the night ahead.
By the time we reached Bella Bistro, only a song or two had played. The night had fully settled in; the silence suited our mood. We were here for a simple, hearty meal together, just what we needed. Leaving our phones behind in the car, we stepped into the restaurant's welcoming warmth.
As we faced each other from across the booth, her hair cascaded in gentle waves, each strand weaving with a richness that glistened softly under the light. We were both happy to finally find ourselves on this long-awaited date - it only took us 3 years! Leaning forward, we jumped into casual conversation.
*crickets*
Can you tell we spend a lot of our time together?
As the waitress approached, we were ready to order.
Me: “We’ll have the Crispy Calamari Fritti and a bottle of Chianti, please.”
A bit unconventional, maybe, pairing calamari with a medium-bodied red, but why not? I was prepared to bluff my way through the wine service with a grin.
(Thankfully), our wine came quickly. Soon enough, we engaged in real conversation.
The Truth Comes Out
Me: “Isn’t this night more rewarding after waiting through No Spend November?”
Fernanda hesitated, with a hint of YOLO in her voice: “Definitely, it was challenging but I learned a few super valuable lessons.”
Me, raising an eyebrow: “Fernnnn, what happened?”
Fernanda: “I have a confession – my Ottawa trip last weekend derailed my No Spend November.”
Me: “Shopping spree?”
Fernanda, with a sheepish grin: “Guilty, but just $600.”
Me, with only a half-joking demeanour: “$600!? Whoa! What possibly cost you $600?”
Fernanda: “Clothes… and jewelry.” she blurts out. “But I don’t regret a thing, just wait until you see what I bought!” The pitch of her voice raised as she continued with her case, “You see, I don’t make it up to Ottawa very often anymore, and I had been anticipating some new clothes purchases anyway. Even though it was completely against my No Spend November plan, I decided that the spree was justified because I had already accomplished a lot. Also, the stores there are so much better than Kingston; it was Black Friday weekend and I was with the girls; and since the jewelry is gold it will last forever!”
Yeah. Sure.
Though it’s no excuse, she’s likely right with the fact that I’ll understand her lack of regret. Her style is on point and I usually love what she picks out for herself.
NSN Context
Contrary to the name, No Spend November doesn’t mean absolutely no spending. It was up to us to define appropriate and inappropriate spending on our own terms, and for both of us, weekend trips (like Fern’s trip to Ottawa) were not completely off the table.
The larger focus was to limit the amount of frivolous spending and to challenge ourselves to funnel more into savings. This meant limiting (or eliminating) any sort of “fun” expenses like entertainment, partying, takeout and practically all other discretionary expenses.
Me: “Wowzer, good one! What was your No Spend November plan anyway?”
Fernanda: “I kept it pretty simple: I wanted to not spend a single dime beyond the most necessary discretionary expenses, like gas and insurance. With all that extra cash, I wanted to throw a bunch of money into my savings.”
Me, wearing a subtle smirk: “Sounds like you were about 6,000 dimes off your plan."
We share a quick chuckle knowing that even though things didn’t go exactly to plan, the challenge was good for us.
By now, we had dummied the Calamari and were making our way through the bottle at an impressive pace. We had had enough time to scan through the menu while conversing - she decided on the Lion’s Maine Mushroom Truffled Penne Pasta, and I on the Braised Beef Short Rib.
Fuck yeah.
Date night with Fern almost always means we share our food. She calls it “family style” but I’m convinced it’s her way to mitigate the risk of picking the wrong dish. Sometimes I make a fuss about family style, but truffle penne AND beef short rib? How could I deny that?
Looking Back on November
Our conversation carried on, with only a slight interruption while the server took our order.
Me: “So was it just the Ottawa trip, or is there something else I should know about?”
Fernanda: “No no, just the Ottawa stuff. I’m sure we both had small expenses here and there that we didn’t completely anticipate, but nothing outrageous. I bought myself a coffee... and a burger. I found that No Spend November was a great way to recognize how much I could save if I limited my shopping. Across my two November paycheques, I saved $3,000!”
Me, eyes widened with surprise: “Three grand!? That is nothing to overlook! Good job babe.”
Fernanda: “Thanks Ev, this experiment was super eye-opening for me."
Me: “Oh ya? In what way?”
Fern’s NSN Takeaways
Fernanda: “Other than the realization that I still have a slight shopping compulsion, I think it taught me a new way of thinking about money. I’ve always aspired to have financial freedom which, to me, means being able to buy the things I want without needing to feel guilt or worry about other financial requirements. I always thought that it would come later in life through working (or marrying rich ;) ), but who knows what the future holds?”
Me, asking curiously: “Interesting, so what you're saying is?"
Fernanda: “I could die at any point, so that moment of pure financial freedom may never come to me. Without being completely reckless, I think it’s healthy to spend money in a way that increases the value of my life in the present moment. Though clothes don’t necessarily bring happiness, the experience of buying things for myself that I will cherish for a while and that will immediately contribute to a more exciting daily life is something I don’t want to push off to some point in the future. I should be able to cash out on my efforts and reap the rewards a little bit, shouldn’t I?”
Me: “I think so! Do you feel like you struck the right balance of living presently and preparing for the future?”
Fernanda: “That’s a good question, and I would say yes. My non-discretionary expenses are only $500/month, and the rest is gravy. I make a great living wage and have saved around half of my net income. Realistically, I could probably put 70% or more into savings, but then I wouldn’t have anything left to enjoy my financial flexibility, and where’s the enjoyment in that?”
Me: “Yeah, I would say you found a good balance. It’s okay to splurge occasionally, and with saving habits as strong as yours, I truly think an infrequent shopping spree is for the better."
What do you think about Fernanda’s perspective? Let me know in the comments!
Fernanda: “I knew you'd understand! Now, that’s enough about me, I want to hear about your experience.”
As I was about to dive in, we noticed our meal was freshly plated and en route. We glanced over at the server and back to each other as we shared the conflicting rush of relief and desire that comes with the delivery of a long-awaited meal.
Me, recognizing Fern’s focus on the entrees now placed in between us: “Why don’t we enjoy our meals instead? I can share my experience another time!"
Fernanda agrees, knowing that without a doubt, I will talk her ear off about money sometime soon.
Fernanda: “I appreciate your enthusiasm and creativity regarding our finances. Thanks for the challenge!”
Me, leaning back in the booth: “Absolutely. You know, this joint self-experiment could make a good two-parter for the blog someday. Your last feature did quite well!”
Our meals were ready to eat and damn, what can I say? Fernanda's penne was creamy and rich, with the earthy essence of truffle and mushrooms. My beef short rib was equally impressive, tender to the point of falling off the bone, nestled on a bed of smooth mash and roasted veggies. I had to stop myself from going all caveman and devouring it with my hands.
I love finance, but not enough to fixate on it over a delightful and deserving date night with my love. Thanks Fernie.